If your child with autism is deeply focused on one topic — trains, video games, basketball, Disney characters — you may wonder whether that interest helps or hurts their ability to make friends.
According to Henry Ford Health experts, special interests aren’t something parents necessarily need to limit or redirect. When used intentionally, they can become powerful tools for building social skills, confidence and meaningful relationships.
Why do special interests matter for kids with autism?
“Special interests aren’t just things kids like,” says Penelope Friday, Ph.D., a postdoctoral fellow at Henry Ford Health. “They’re often how a child relates to the world and communicates meaning.”
Friday explains that all people connect through shared experiences. For children with autism, a special interest may be the most natural entry point into learning, bonding and engagement.
“We all try to find something we can relate to,” she says. “This may be your child’s way to relate, and that includes relating to other people.”
How can a special interest help build social skills?
Sarah Peterson, M.A., BCBA, LBA, Manager and Lead Board Certified Behavior Analyst at the Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities at Henry Ford Health, sees this often in her clinical work.
“When kids are doing something they genuinely enjoy, social interaction becomes less stressful,” Peterson says. “They don’t have to force eye contact or small talk. The activity itself becomes the connection.”
She encourages parents and caregivers to think beyond behavior and focus on identity.
“One of the biggest shifts happens when a child is known for what they love,” Peterson says. “Instead of being seen as ‘the kid with autism,’ they become ‘the basketball player’ or ‘the train expert.’ That sense of belonging matters.”
What if my child’s interest seems very narrow or solitary?
This is a common concern parents share. Friday recommends widening an interest rather than trying to replace it.
“If your child loves one specific thing, look for adjacent or related activities,” she says. “Broadening the depth of an interest can open new opportunities for connection without overwhelming them.”
For younger children, this often starts with small moments of shared interaction such as:
- Asking open-ended questions during play
- Practicing turn-taking using favorite toys
- Gradually moving from parallel play to brief cooperative play
“These small moments help build the foundation for shared experiences later,” Friday says.
How do I turn a special interest into real-world connection?
Peterson suggests starting with observation. “Watch what your child gravitates toward,” she says. “Is it movement? Visual patterns? Repetition? Once you understand that, you can find activities that share those features.”
Parents often see success when they connect interests to environments like:
- Community center games or pickup sports for kids who love basketball
- Air shows, museums or hobby groups for kids interested in trains or planes
- Robotics clubs or library maker spaces for kids who enjoy building or organizing
“When people are focused on the same activity, conversation happens more naturally,” Peterson says. “They can talk about what they’re doing instead of trying to navigate abstract social rules.”
How can special interests support teens and young adults with autism?
As kids grow older, special interests can help them find peers beyond school or family.
Peterson encourages families to explore interest-based community groups or classes,library programs and clubs, local events tied to specific hobbies and carefully monitored online communities
Think outside the box. Airplane enthusiasts, says Peterson, often gather near airfields or air shows, where shared excitement turns into conversation and community over time.
That’s just one example. “There are groups for almost every interest,” she says. “Your child is not the only one who loves what they love.”
What about online interests and safety?
Online gaming and digital spaces can offer connection, especially for older teens and young adults. Peterson stresses the importance of involvement and transparency.
“Parents should talk openly about what healthy friendships look like,” she says. “Check in regularly and stay involved — not secretly but collaboratively.”
She encourages parents to focus on:
- Teaching what respectful friendship looks like
- Helping kids recognize when interactions feel unsafe or one-sided
- Building self-advocacy skills over time
Peterson encourages parents to move away from limiting an interest and think instead about how it can be used to build connection. When families reframe it that way, she says, they often start to see opportunities everywhere.
This content is sponsored by Henry Ford Health. Learn more about The GROW Center for Autism and Intellectual/Developmental Disabilities and The Henry Ford Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities (CADD).
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