Metro Detroit Expert Tips on Managing Phone Use for Stronger Family Bonds

Parenting in the digital age is a balancing act. Between emails, texts and social media, phones have become an ever-present part of life. But when technology pulls us away from our kids — what experts sometimes call “technoference” — it can affect the mental health and connection of both parents and children. A 2023 study by Pew Research Center reports nearly half of teens say a parent is distracted at least some of the time when they are trying to talk with them.

The good news? Parenting isn’t about perfection, and small changes can go a long way. Dr. Lauren Mangus, a licensed psychologist with the HOPE Center/Center for Human Development in Southfield says, “Did your child go to bed feeling safe and loved? That’s the most important thing.” By reflecting on how phones are used, creating intentional moments for connection and celebrating even small wins, families can foster stronger mental health and closer bonds — without feeling guilty or overwhelmed.

We share expert advice from Mangus about how you can start making those changes today.

Reflect: address ‘technoference’ in parenting

The first step to fostering better mental health and connection is to pause and reflect on your phone habits. This isn’t about guilt — it’s about awareness and making thoughtful choices.

Here’s how to get started:

• Notice your triggers: Pay attention to when and why you reach for your phone. Is it during meals, while playing with your child, or when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
• Ask yourself a simple question: Mangus suggests reflecting, “Does my phone use feel helpful right now, or is it pulling me away from what matters most?”
• Consider what you want for your family: “Every household is different, with its own unique culture,” she says. Thinking about your own values helps you set expectations for yourself and for your children.
• Take a no-judgment inventory: Spend a day tracking how often you use your phone and what it’s for — work, scrolling or just a break. This awareness can help you spot patterns.

By reflecting on these habits, you can take the first step toward modeling healthier technology use and fostering a more mindful connection with your child.

Connect: practice mindful parenting for better family bonds

Once you’ve reflected on your phone use, the next step is to create intentional opportunities to connect with your child. These moments don’t need to be elaborate. Small, consistent efforts make a big difference.

Here are a few ways to foster connection:

• Set aside phone-free moments: Choose a time of day, like dinner or bedtime, to put your phone away and give your child your undivided attention. Even 10 minutes can go a long way.
• Communicate openly: If you need to use your phone, let your child know why. Mangus suggests saying something like, “I need to check something for work, but then it’s our time.”
• Make connection part of your routine: Build rituals into your day, like reading together before bed, sharing “highs and lows” of the day during dinner, or taking a quick walk.

By creating these intentional moments, you send a clear message to your child: they are valued, and their mental health matters.

Celebrate: acknowledge wins and practice parent self-care

Building healthier habits takes time, and it’s important to acknowledge even small wins along the way. Recognizing your efforts and successes can help you stay motivated and show your child that connection matters.

Try these simple ways to celebrate progress:

• Notice the moments that work: Did you share a laugh with your child or make eye contact during a meaningful conversation? Celebrate this!
• Focus on progress, not perfection: Mangus reminds parents, “Connection doesn’t have to be constant, but it should be intentional.” Even small efforts to connect help strengthen your bond.
• Appreciate yourself and practice self-care: Take a moment at the end of the day to reflect on what you did well. Parenting isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about showing up with care and intention.

By celebrating small successes, you’ll build confidence in your ability to balance technology and connection while modeling positivity and self-awareness for your child.

Content sponsored by The Ethel and James Flinn Foundation. Visit flinnfoundation.org.

Find more articles about mental healtht on Metro Parent’s A Parent’s Guide to Family Mental Health.

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