Parenting is tough — especially for those juggling a mental health condition or substance use challenges alongside the daily demands of family life. The good news? A few simple, actionable strategies can go a long way for managing stress and building emotional and mental resilience.
We reached out to Kelila Anstett, Director of Crisis Services at Oakland Community Health Network (OCHN) for her expert tips. Together, we created a toolkit to help reduce stress in your daily life. Think of the new year as a journey, and these tools as essential items to pack for the road ahead.
Tool 1: The 5-minute reset button
- What it is: A quick practice to manage overwhelming moments.
- Expert Tip: “Grabbing a glass of ice water can help when you’re feeling stressed,” Anstett explains. “It refocuses you, calms anxiety, and hydrates your body while giving you a chance to step away from the situation.” Other strategies include square breathing or pausing to listen to your favorite song.
- How to use it: When stress mounts, step away for a short, mindful activity. Even a brief moment of self-care can make a difference. “Avoid making decisions when you’re stressed,” Anstett advises. “Take a moment to reset, then revisit the choice with a clearer mind.”
Tool 2: A daily dose of connection
- What it is: Meaningful, intentional time with loved ones.
- Expert Tip: “The idea of ‘dating’ your children is really important,” Anstett says. “It helps you connect with them, know their interests, and build trust. They may feel more comfortable opening up during one-on-one time.” Whether it’s reading together, drawing or a quick chat, these moments foster stronger relationships.
- How to use it: Schedule time for one-on-one interactions with your kids or loved ones. Even a brief text to a friend can build connections. “Put it on your calendar,” Anstett says. “Just 15 minutes with your child or a quick call to a loved one can strengthen those bonds.”
Tool 3: A personalized map for what causes you stress
- What it is: A proactive way to identify triggers and plan healthier responses.
- Expert Tip: “The best way to identify triggers is to pay attention to how certain events make you feel,” Anstett explains. “For example, if being late stresses you out, think about what you can do to prepare, like laying out clothes the night before or planning meals ahead of time.”
- How to use it: Reflect on your stress triggers and pay attention to your urges. Do you feel the need to reach for a drink, cigarette or marijuana? Instead, try to create simple strategies to mitigate the stress.
Tool 4: The gratitude anchor
- What it is: A daily practice to focus on positivity.
- Expert Tip: “Gratitude is healing and can even be a remedy for sadness,” Anstett says. “It doesn’t have to be about big things. You can be grateful for feeling the wind on your cheeks or seeing stars in the sky.”
- How to use it: Create a family gratitude jar, write notes on sticky paper for your mirror, or make it a habit to ask your child, “What are you grateful for today?” Revisit gratitude notes during hard times to remind yourself of life’s bright spots. “Gratitude can be a remedy to sadness,” Anstett adds.
Tool 5: Community lifelines
- What it is: Free or low-cost resources for support.
- Expert Tip: “988 is a great resource,” she says. “If you’re in crisis or need someone to talk to, you can call them. They’ll help de-escalate the situation or connect you to the support you need.” For those in Oakland County, she also recommends contacting OCHN’s Access services line at 248-464-6363 for mental health services. For those with substance use challenges, staying connected with a sponsor or joining support groups like AA or NA is essential.
- How to use it: Don’t hesitate to reach out to crisis hotlines, local programs, or online resources for help when needed. “There’s always someone to help,” Anstett reminds us. “You’re never alone.”
You can thrive when you carve out time for yourself
Carving out moments for yourself is crucial. “It makes a difference when you prioritize yourself because you show up better for everything and everyone else,” Anstett explains. Even spending 15 minutes in the morning to read, meditate or simply breathe can shift your mindset and set the tone for the day.
Getting up 15 minutes early can help. “You can think with more clarity, have more preparation and have more advanced thought instead of being clouded with the things you’re worried about first thing when you wake up,” she says.
This year, make self-care a non-negotiable part of your toolkit. Resilience starts with small tools — and the courage to use them.
OCHN manages and funds a service provider network for approximately 30,000 Oakland County residents at more than 400 service sites across the county. People who receive public behavioral health services through OCHN’s provider network include those who have an intellectual or developmental disability, mental health concerns or substance use disorder. Most of these individuals have Medicaid insurance coverage.
OCHN’s goal is to ensure these individuals are aware of and have access to services and support that will improve their health and quality of life, as well as ensure their engagement in full community participation. Its mission to “inspire hope, empower people, and strengthen communities” reflects an unyielding belief in a “Valuable System for Valued People.”
Programs and supports provided by OCHN’s service network are available at oaklandchn.org.
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