Your Son Misbehaves, But Does He Have Conduct Disorder?

Most parents have moments of worry about their child’s behavior. It’s normal for kids to break the rules sometimes. They might lie about homework, argue about chores or push boundaries with siblings and friends. But when does misbehavior indicate something more serious, like conduct disorder?

Not often. Conduct disorder is fairly rare, with only about 3% of children receiving this diagnosis. The vast majority of kids do not have this mental health condition. But, if your child’s behavior feels extreme or persistent, it’s always good to know what to look for and when to seek support.

To get a better understanding of conduct disorder, We reached out to Jillian Gismondi, a child therapist with 20 years of experience and practice development lead at Child and Family Solutions Center in Farmington Hills.

What parents need to know about conduct disorder, from a metro Detroit expert

Q: What is conduct disorder?

Gismondi: “Conduct disorder occurs in such a small group of kids. It is children and teens who display a pattern of aggressive and antisocial behaviors. That could be rule breaking, lying, stealing, physical violence, disregard for others.”

These behaviors, Gismondi says, occur across multiple settings, such as home, school and extracurricular activities. A single incident of misbehavior isn’t a sign of conduct disorder — what matters is a repeated pattern.

• Example: “If a child takes $10 from a parent’s wallet once, that doesn’t necessarily mean they have a conduct disorder,” she explains. “But if they’re repeatedly stealing — taking money at home, then stealing their teacher’s North Face jacket — that’s when we start to see a concerning pattern across domains.”

Q: Why are boys more likely to be diagnosed with conduct disorder than girls?

Gismondi: “I think some of it is society’s bias that girls ‘can’t do’ these things. They can, but they’re less likely to.” Much of this, she says, is due to differences in biological and neurological makeup.

• Parent tip: Researchers are now seeing an increase in girls being diagnosed with conduct disorder.

Q: What should parents do if they’re concerned about their son’s (or daughter’s) behavior?

Gismondi: “I encourage parents to seek out help from a professional. Get the child individual therapy.”

You know your child best. If you notice persistent behaviors like fire setting, frequent aggression, bullying or theft — especially in multiple settings — seek help. 

• Parent tip: Seeking help isn’t a failure. It’s a step toward understanding your child better and finding ways to support them.

Q: How is conduct disorder treated?

Gismondi: “Generally, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) would be used to support the client, which is an evidence-based form of treatment. Also, in working with children, best results yield from individual therapy for the child, some parent coaching for the parents to assist at home, and, if needed, family therapy.”

• Parent tip: Treatment isn’t just about the child — parents and families play a key role. Remember, every child is capable of growth, and no child is beyond help.

Q: How can parents reduce stigma around mental health conditions?

Rather than labeling a “bad kid,” parents can help their own children see challenging behaviors as a sign that something deeper may be going on. This builds empathy.

Gismondi: “I think parents can normalize it to their kids. If they’re talking about a child in a classroom who is acting out or having a hard time, even saying something like, ‘You know, it sounds like they’re having a tough day,’ or, ‘It sounds like they’re really going through something,’ and pushing that message out instead of a judgement.”

Q: What are some other ways parents can model openness at home?

Gismondi: “Parents can normalize their own feelings. You’re not forcing experiences onto your child, but rather you’re sharing that you feel the feels too.” 

When kids see parents acknowledge emotions in a healthy way, they learn that it’s okay to talk about struggles rather than feel ashamed.

• Parent Tip: Instead of brushing off your own tough days, try saying something like, “I’m feeling a little stressed today, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths to help myself calm down.” This shows kids that big feelings are normal and manageable.

By shifting the conversation at home, parents can break the stigma around mental health and create a more supportive and understanding environment for all kids.

This content is sponsored by the Ethel and James Flinn Foundation. Learn more at flinnfoundation.org. Looking for more mental health articles? Find them at Metro Parent’s A Parent’s Guide to Family Mental Health.

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