When a child with autism acts out, withdraws or displays unexpected behaviors, they’re communicating. But what are they trying to say? Understanding behavior as communication in autism is key to supporting your child’s emotional and developmental growth.
To help, we spoke with Dr. Tisa Johnson-Hooper, Pediatrician and Medical Director, and Dr. Emily LeRose, Speech-Language Pathologist, both from Henry Ford Health. They share expert insights on how parents can interpret behaviors and support their child’s communication.
Autism communication — behavior as expression
“Whether a child is using words or not, their behavior is a way of expressing a want, a need, a feeling or a thought,” explains Dr. LeRose. Children with autism, especially those who have difficulty with verbal language, often use behaviors in place of words.
These behaviors might include:
- Tantrums or meltdowns when overwhelmed or struggling to communicate
- Hand-flapping, toe-walking or spinning to process sensory input or excitement
- Pacing or repetitive movements as a way to self-soothe or express anxiety
- Pulling a caregiver toward an object instead of using words to request something
Dr. Johnson-Hooper emphasizes that while some behaviors may seem problematic to parents, they may actually be a child’s natural self-expression. “Parents need to understand their child’s developmental level and align their expectations,” she says.
How to help your child express themselves
So how can parents better understand and support their child’s autism communication needs? Here are some expert-recommended strategies:
Identify the pattern
To understand what your child is communicating, ask yourself:
- What happened right before the behavior?
- What might your child be feeling in that moment?
- Are they trying to request something, protest or self-soothe?
Use simple language and visual supports
Many children with autism struggle with complex verbal instructions. “Keep your sentences short — under three words if needed,” advises Dr. Johnson-Hooper. “Too many words can increase frustration.”
Helpful tools include:
- Picture schedules to outline daily activities
- Timers to ease transitions between activities
- Offer choices (with visuals) instead of asking open-ended questions
Consider augmentative and alternative communication methods
For children who are non-speaking or have limited verbal skills, augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) methods can be life-changing. These include:
- Sign language for basic requests (e.g., “more,” “all done”)
- Picture-based systems where children hand a caregiver a picture of what they want or point/touch a picture
- Speech-generating devices that help children communicate through technology
“There’s a myth that using AAC will prevent a child from developing verbal speech, but research shows the opposite — it actually enhances communication skills and can reduce frustration with difficulty communicating,” says Dr. LeRose.
Acknowledge and reinforce their efforts
Whenever your child makes an attempt to communicate — whether through words, gestures or AAC — acknowledge it.
“If they say ‘ready, set, go’ because they associate that phrase with swinging, positively acknowledge the attempt by repeating it back to them, followed by a model of functional language: ‘ready, set, go — yes, let’s swing!’” explains Dr. LeRose.
When children are frustrated, validating their emotions helps. “Saying, ‘I see you’re upset because you don’t want to stop playing’ makes a child feel understood, even if they still need to transition,” says Dr. Johnson-Hooper.
The role of parents in autism communication support
Parents are key in helping their child develop communication skills. Experts recommend:
- Partnering with teachers and therapists to ensure consistent strategies across settings
- Engaging with community resources for additional support
- Being mindful of cultural differences in how behaviors are perceived and addressed
Dr. Johnson-Hooper points out that culture plays a big role in how families interpret autism. “In some cultures, disabilities may be stigmatized, which can create barriers to seeking support,” she says. “Healthcare providers must build cultural competency and offer resources that align with a family’s background.”
Small daily changes that make a big impact
Parents can support autism communication in simple ways, including:
- Reading together daily — choose books that have lots of pictures, repetitive language, interactive elements like flaps or textures, with topics of interest to your child. You don’t have to stick to the script — point to pictures, use sound-effects, and keep it engaging!
- Using music and rhymes — adding music and movement can help reinforce language learning in a fun way!
- Narrating everyday tasks — model functional language for what you do every day (“I’m thirsty. Let’s drink milk!”)
- Child-led playtime — set aside just 15-30 minutes a day to play with your child doing whatever they like. Follow their lead, engage and connect!
“Communication isn’t just about words,” says Dr. LeRose. “It’s about connection, and parents can nurture that every day.”
Final thoughts
Understanding your child’s behaviors takes patience, observation and the right tools. Whether through speech, gestures or alternative methods, every child deserves a way to express themselves — and every parent plays a role in making that possible.
“Any autistic child with speech delays can benefit from one-on-one intervention with a speech-language pathologist experienced in autism,” says Dr. LeRose.
If you’re struggling to interpret your child’s behaviors, reach out to your pediatrician, speech therapist or a support group. Communication is always possible — it just may look different.
This content is sponsored by Henry Ford Health. Learn more at henryford.org.
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