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Wednesday, 31 May 2023

How to Help Your Kid Adjust to a New School

Moving can be hard. Moving schools at a young age can be harder.

Whether it’s leaving friends behind or anxiety about moving up a grade, parents can make the move easier with lots of conversations.

Pamela Davis-Kean, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, offered a few tips for parents to help their children transition schools.

Introduce them to the school and its surroundings

If the new school is in a different neighborhood, show your kids the route from home to the building. Or, familiarize them with the building by attending an open house or walking through their schedule. Going through their new daily routine, from drop-off to pick-up, can help alleviate their fears of change.

Find the school’s network

With the barrage of pamphlets and charts and newsletters and emails, it’s easy to feel bogged down. While some information can be found online or through talks with school administrators, be sure to communicate with other parents, former and current students, or even real estate agents about the school’s atmosphere. Informal conversations at meet and greets help parents and children gain insight into the school’s atmosphere, such as which sports and clubs are most popular.

Practice the locker combination

It may sound like an allegory but memorizing a locker combination is one of the most daunting stressors about the move from elementary to middle school. If parents can, get the numbers before the first day and locate the locker with their child. Practice opening and closing the locker with them as they memorize the combination.

This not only helps them gain independence, but it also solves a possible health issue. When children hesitate to use their locker, they forgo it and carry everything in their backpack, which can get too heavy for their growing bodies, says Davis-Kean.

Talk through all the changes

The transition rarely is as simple as different teachers and a new backpack. For kids who jump from elementary to middle school, communicate with them about everything from curriculum changes to sports being more competitive to puberty. This is an age when peers take on more importance than parents in children’s lives, so be clear about shifts they might experience.

“Anything you can help them with prior to it being introduced to them still might not go great, (they) still might have problems opening the locker, but at least they know what’s coming,” Davis-Kean says.

Also, emphasize the commonality of their fears. Help them understand everyone’s worried about the first day. If the child is old enough, parents can talk about their own fears, or even share memories of their first day at a new school. This helps children not feel alone in their concerns.

Keep in contact with old friends

A common worry is losing friendships. But through Zoom, social media and the power of texting, it’s easy to keep in touch with friends who live far away. If the child is too young for a cellphone, though, parents can help set up a weekly FaceTime call or visits on holidays with old friends.


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Monday, 29 May 2023

Chosen Infertility Group Offers Grants for Parents on Infertility Journey

For couples trying to get pregnant, infertility struggles can be incredibly taxing – emotionally, physically and financially. 

Chosen Infertility Group, a Michigan nonprofit devoted to providing support to those trying to conceive, is hoping to relieve some of that stress for one Michigan couple. 

The group is now offering a grant for infertility treatments for the second year in a row. It provides an opportunity to pursue pregnancy for couples who might find the cost prohibitive. 

“It’s definitely needed to have a nonprofit like this,” says Lauren Clements, the founder and president of Chosen Infertility Group. “I think for a lot of people this is the one shot and otherwise would have been the end of the road – now, at least there’s some hope going forward.”

Couples interested in the grant should know that it’s open to everyone, from single mothers to same-sex partners. Interested parents-to-be need to fill out a few online applications and submit a video interview. The deadline for the application is October 1.

If selected, a couple is eligible to receive financial help to cover a round of IVF and the medications that accompany the process, a process that typically ranges from $15,000-$20,000.

“There are so many different stories and circumstances in the applications that come through,” she says. “We see it all, and it’s heart wrenching. We want to help everybody.”  

Chosen Infertility is more than a grant provider. The organization exists to help families in multiple ways, with support talk sessions led by therapists, guest speakers and more.

 “People think of infertility as just struggling to get pregnant, but it can mean a variety of things,” she says. “It’s definitely a whole world that isn’t talked about enough.”

“Chosen is here to help anyone who wants to become a parent become a parent,” she adds. 

The overall goal is to expand to help even more couples on their fertility journeys. The more support the organization receives, the more funding that can be distributed as grants to help families. 

Clements says that donating money is great, but donations from businesses in the form of goods and services has been incredibly helpful. 

“You don’t have to donate to support Chosen; you could share it on social media, because someone you know might own a business and want to help,” she says.

In the past, businesses like flower shops and butchers have donated their services to Chosen’s gala event. Currently, the Detroit Cookie Co. — which has locations in Ferndale, St. Claire Shores, Ann Arbor and Grand Rapids — is offering a special SuperMom Cheesecake cookie with a portion of the proceeds supporting Chosen. 

People can also volunteer to help put on the organization’s fundraising events. 

Supporters are responsible for raising enough money for last year’s grant. The grant recipients experienced a successful pregnancy and are the proud parents of a beautiful child. 

“They’re over the moon about expecting and being new parents,” she says. 

Photo credit: Chosen Infertility Group

Helping couples trying to get pregnant is a mission close to Clement for personal reasons: she started Chosen Infertility after her own infertility challenges. 

“My husband and I struggled for three years and I was diagnosed with having blocked fallopian tubes,” she says.  “All of the doctors I had consultations with told to get them removed. It was extremely overwhelming and devastating, the thought of being forever dependent on IVF.” 

After a second round of IVF, the couple had twins. The girls are almost 4 years old now. 

“Family is one of the most fundamental things in our life,” she says. “We want to make an impact in whichever way we can.”


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Friday, 26 May 2023

Mommy and Me Classes to Enjoy with Your Little Ones

It’s no secret that welcoming a new child into your life can change your entire world. From new routines and responsibilities to schedule changes and all the emotions that come with adding a new member to the family, it may feel like your life will never return to the way it once was. However, all these changes don’t mean that your old hobbies and interests need to grind to a halt.

These Mommy & Me classes around metro Detroit are the perfect way to bond with your little one while pursuing your own interests and hobbies. Don’t let the name fool you — parents of all genders are welcome to join in the fun! Your child will love getting to participate in an activity with their favorite role model (you!) 

Ready to find the best class for you and your kiddo? Check out these Mommy & Me classes offered around metro Detroit and Ann Arbor. 

If your little one isn’t ready for a structured class, consider these options in our roundup of fun things to do with babies in southeast Michigan

Macomb 

Baby Swim Lessons 

The instructors at Goldfish Swim Schools say it’s never too early to introduce your child to the water! Swim students ages 4-35 months and their caregivers will learn about water safety while they bond and build trust with each other. The 30-minute class will also help your child develop balance and coordination. 

Dance with Me

This introductory dance class is designed for little walkers up to 2.5 years old and their caregivers. Kiddos will bond with their parent, play with other children and practice their listening skills, all while learning the basics of movement and dance.  

Parent & Tot Gymnastics Class

Jump, tumble and roll with your kiddo. Guide your child and connect with them while they learn the basics of gymnastics, including balancing, climbing and practicing motor skills. Plus, they’ll get to socialize with other tiny tumblers and you can meet fellow parents who love to move. 

Oakland

Baby Swim Lessons 

Swim students ages 4-35 months and their caregivers will learn about water safety while they bond and build trust with each other. The 30-minute class will also help your child develop balance and coordination. 

Kindermusik Classes

Connect with your child through music as they explore and react to new sounds. Parents and caregivers will learn bonding techniques they can use to heighten their connection with their child. 

Mommy & Buddha Baby Yoga

Strengthen and stretch your body while strengthening your connection with your baby through physical touch. Ideal for parents of 2- to 9-month-olds, this yoga class will guide parent and child through a series of simple to challenging poses that allow you to interact with each other. Plus, you’ll connect with other parents with an interest in yoga and fitness. 

Mommy & Me Yoga

This 60-minute class taught by Happy Baby Yoga is designed for postpartum moms looking to ease back into exercise. In addition to movements that connect mom and baby both physically and emotionally, children as young as 6 weeks old are welcome to crawl and roam free, allowing mom to focus on her exercise knowing her child is safe. 

Music Together Class

Motor City Music Together knows that the power of music is strongest when we share it with loved ones. The 10-week classes full of singing and dancing are designed to let kids from 0-5 explore music through play with their caregivers. Sign up for their spring “Maracas” session, which includes indoor and outdoor classes. 

Washtenaw

Baby Swim Lessons 

The instructors at Goldfish Swim Schools say it’s never too early to introduce your child to the water! Swim students ages 4-35 months and their caregivers will learn about water safety while they bond and build trust with each other. The 30-minute class will also help your child develop balance and coordination. 

Wayne

Baby Swim Lessons 

Swim students ages 4-35 months and their caregivers will learn about water safety while they bond and build trust with each other. The 30-minute class will also help your child develop balance and coordination. 

Kindermusik Classes

Connect with your child through music as they explore and react to new sounds. Parents and caregivers will learn bonding techniques they can use to heighten their connection with their child. 

Music Together Class

Motor City Music Together knows that the power of music is strongest when we share it with loved ones. The 10-week classes full of singing and dancing are designed to let kids from 0-5 explore music through play with their caregivers. Sign up for their spring “Maracas” session, or check their calendar for upcoming outdoor sessions this summer. 

Parent & Tot Swim Lessons

Designed for little swimmers ages 4 to 30 months old, the Parent & Tot swim lessons at Aqua-Tots will help your child adjust to water and learn safe practices. Parents will gain confidence handling their child in the water and have the opportunity to bond in a unique way with their toddler.


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The Benefits of a Summer Job for Macomb County Teens

If you’re a parent of a teen, you may be wondering how you can get them to learn some valuable life skills and be more responsible, especially during the long summer months. Maybe you’re worried that they will be lounging around all summer — and you’ll be funding all of their activities with their friends. 

Now might be a good time to start talking about the possibility of encouraging your young adult to consider getting a summer job.

Summer jobs can help teens build communication skills, manage their finances, build their resume, gain independence, network, develop a work-life balance, establish a strong work ethic, stay out of trouble and become more responsible. 

A good place to start looking is your local Parks and Recreation Department. Or, consider a  seasonal summer job at Huron-Clinton Metroparks, where they will learn how to maintain a work-life balance, have some spending money — and maybe even save some money before school begins.

How to find a job

The easiest way to find a job is through someone you know, such as a family friend looking for a babysitter or pet sitter. But these jobs can be temporary. If your teen wants more regular employment, start by looking up jobs on Huron-Clinton Metroparks’ website. 

“Metroparks can help with seasonal jobs for teens,” says Danielle Mauter, Chief of Marketing and Communications at Huron-Clinton Metroparks. “Lake St. Clair Metropark (also known as Metro Beach) and Stony Creek Metropark seasonal jobs give teens the opportunity to work in a toll booth, as a food service attendant, boat rental attendant or adventure golf attendant.”

She suggests that parents and teens look on their website to see all the job postings and their descriptions to find something their son or daughter will enjoy. Applying for a job is easy, too.

“They can apply for these positions right online and will receive a call from a supervisor shortly after,” says Mauter. “If you don’t get a phone call the very next day, don’t get discouraged because they may still be receiving resumes and doing interviews.”

She also explains that although the two Metroparks in Macomb County can always use seasonal (and part-time and full-time employees), if you’re looking to lifeguard, the Wayne County Metroparks could really use your help. The lifeguard positions at Lake St. Clair Metropark have already been filled for the season.

In addition, your local Parks and Recreation Department or YMCA may have a pool and are looking for lifeguards, so reach out and see what might be available for your teen.

“Lifeguards are another really important job with a shortage in the park systems, recreation centers and YMCAs,” says Mauter. 

Find a job with “perks”

Huron-Clinton Metroparks offers perks to all full-time, part-time and even seasonal employees. 

“One of the really big perks is spending the summer outside,” says Mauter. “Others include paid time off and a summer bonus structure.” These perks are also for seasonal employees too. 

Another perk is the chance to make new friends. “Seasonal staff in the past have said the reason they love working for Metroparks, in addition to being outdoors and the perks, is the team environment — a group of co-workers you establish friendships with,” says Mauter. 

How a summer job helps your teen

Some of the best parts of having a seasonal job are figuring out your strengths and weaknesses at an early age — and also deciding if that job is something you want to keep doing or not. Just because you have a job one summer doesn’t mean you have to do it the following summer. There are plenty of opportunities for teens to explore.

“Our seasonal workers have to reapply, but it is not exactly the same hiring process,” says Mauter. “They will receive a reminder that goes out from the previous year asking if they want to come back or not.”

Check out more information about job openings at Huron-Clinton Metroparks. Plus, learn more about living in Macomb County at Make Macomb Your Home.



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Thursday, 25 May 2023

Kid-Friendly Tours in Metro Detroit and Ann Arbor

Whether you’re looking to get a new view of Downtown Detroit, seeing the grounds of a historical museum or enjoying the flowers and landscapes at a beautiful garden, there’s a tour for everyone.

Be sure to bring your phone or camera because there will be plenty of pics to snap along the way!

City Tour Detroit

  • Cost: $39-$46/adult, $15-$18/ages 17 and under; $75/person for 8 Mile Tour & See The D Sunset Trolley Tour of Detroit
  • Duration: 3-4 hours

Choose from tours such as See the D: Downtown Detroit Walking Tour, Incredible Journey to Midnight: Detroit Underground Railroad Walking Tour, 8 Mile: The Movie Sites Tour and See The D Sunset Trolley Tour of Detroit. Choose a tour to visit by foot or in their late-model vehicles.

Cranbrook House & Gardens Tour

  • Cost: Free
  • Duration: Varies

Visitors can enjoy a self-guided tour of the beautiful flowers and landscapes of Cranbrook. Tours run from June to October

Detroit Segway Tours & Rides

  • Cost: $63-$108/rider
  • Duration: 1-3 hours

These Segway tours are family-friendly. Choose from Rollin’ on the Riverfront (great for locals), Urbanity (great for visitors), Strait to the Hart, Strait to the Point, The Whole Shebang and Cruise the Cut. They also offer limited dates during the holidays to see Downtown Detroit all lit up for the holidays.

Diamond Jack’s River Tours

  • Cost: $22/ages 13-59, $18/ages 60-plus, $15/ages 6-12, $5/ages 5 and under
  • Duration: 1 hour

Their sightseeing tours are a great way to view attractions along the Detroit Riverwalk. Snacks and beverages are available for purchase on board. All public tours are first come, first served and admission is paid as you board the ship.

Family Friendly Zoo Tour

  • Cost: $150/6 family members
  • Duration: 1 hour

Bring your family to The Creature Conservatory to view the animals up close and without any crowds to dodge. Advanced registration is required. 

Ford House Tours

  • Cost: Vary by tour
  • Duration: Vary by tour

Choose from House Tours + Grounds Pass (tour at your own pace), Grounds Pass, Nooks & Crannies – Guided Tour, 10 Out of 10 Tour, Main Residence Guided Tour, Grounds & Gardens Tour and Making It Work tour. The tours all depend on the date you choose.

Ford Rouge Factory Tour 

  • Cost: $24/ages 12-61, $21.50/ages 62-plus, $18/ages 5-11, free/ages 4 and under, $9/parking
  • Duration: 2-3 hours

The Ford Rouge Factory Tour includes a bus right from The Henry Ford. Families can enjoy a five-part experience featuring Manufacturing Innovation Theatre, Legacy Theatre, Observation Deck, Assembly Plant Walkway overlooking Ford F-150 final assembly and the Legacy & Electric Vehicle Galley. The last tour leaves at 3 p.m.

Greenmead Tours

  • Cost: Donation
  • Duration: 4 hours

Their 2023 Sunday Tours are available on June 25, July 16, Aug. 13 and Sept. 24 from 1-4 p.m. Weekday group tours are available from May to October. Self-guided tours are available anytime the park is open and visitors can scan the QR codes to fully enjoy the tour. 

Let’s See Detroit Tours

  • Cost: $65/adult, $30/child
  • Duration: 4-plus

Choose from Detroit 101 (essentials tour), Looking Up (architecture tour), Making History in Detroit (historical tour), The Villages and Towns (neighborhoods tour), All Albert, All The Time (Albert Kahn architecture tour), We Gather By The River (riverfront & parks tour), Off The Beaten Path (local secrets tour) and Eye Candy (public art tour).

Meadow Brook Tours

  • Cost: $19/ages 13-plus, $16/ages 62-plus, $11/ages 6-12, free/ages 5 and under and Oakland University students
  • Duration: 4-plus

Families can enjoy a tour of the extravagant museum and National Historic Landmark, which was built in 1929. It is located on the campus of Oakland University. Visitors can choose from a guided hour tour, guided behind-the-scenes tour, self-guided touring and twilight tours. They also have some really great holiday tours and events in November and December. Advanced tickets are required for tours.

MyFlight Tours Detroit

  • Cost: $55-$300/rider; can customize with celebration and souvenir packages and other add-ons for extra charges
  • Duration: 30-90 minutes

Choose different explore tours such as Detroit Quick Hop, Detroit Ambassador Bridge, Detroit Skyline and Detroit Big D. Arrive to your scheduled time five minutes early to get checked in and then you’ll receive a short safety briefing before your flight. Children under 24 months must sit on an adult’s lap and children over 24 months must have a separate seat with a mandatory seatbelt.

Reptile Tours

  • Cost: $150/2 people, $25/each additional person (maximum of 4 people)
  • Duration: 90 minutes

Reptile Tours at The Creature Conservatory are offered at 5 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays. Participants must be over the age of 12. You’ll see reptiles such as a red-footed tortoise, Gila monster, cane toad, bearded dragon, blue-tongued skink, pancake tortoise and more. Registrations required.

Sky Adventures

  • Cost: $225/person-plus, $200/ages 12 and under
  • Duration: 45-60 minutes

This is a great tour to splurge on with your family. They have nine multicolored hot air balloons that will transport you over Oakland and southern Lapeer Counties. For ages 5 and up.

Troy Historic Village Guided Tours

  • Cost: Free w/admission; $7/ages 18-59, $5/ages 60-plus and ages 6-17, free/ages 5 and under and Troy Historical Society members
  • Duration: 90 minutes

Enjoy a self-guided tour of the historical buildings at the Village from the 1840s to the 1920s. Tours of the Village are at 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. on Fridays in July and August. Purchase tickets in advance.


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Wednesday, 24 May 2023

Monroe Street Midway Returns for Summer 2023

The Monroe Street Midway, Detroit’s favorite outdoor playground, is officially open for the 2023 season. The Midway has all the summer fun your family could hope for, free of charge and in one convenient location! 

Basketball fans will love hooping it up at the Rocket Mortgage Sports Zone. Enjoy a friendly game with friends on the colorful courts, or join Come Play Detroit’s half-court league. For the first time this summer, pick-up pickleball games will be held on the courts as well. (Try saying pick-up pickleball five times fast). 

Practice your putt and work your way to a hole-in-one on the challenging nine-hole mini golf course, then strap on your roller skates ($13 ticket/skate rental required) and take a spin around Rollout Detroit — the city’s only outdoor rink — brought to you by the nation’s oldest Black-owned skating rink, RollerCade Detroit.

Even if you’re not looking to break a sweat, the Midway is still a great place to enjoy a summer day. Hang out on the lawn or the pavilion while listening to local DJs, then take a stroll and check out the bold and beautiful murals from six local artists. 

Check the Monroe Street Midway calendar for the latest info on roller skating classes, Zumba sessions, live entertainment and more. 

Quick details about Monroe Street Midway

  • Address: 32 Monroe St., Detroit
  • Hours: Open on the following days through Labor Day, weather permitting: Thursday-Saturday, 12 p.m.-7 p.m., 7 p.m.-11 p.m. (21+ only); Sunday 12 p.m.-9 p.m.
  • Cost: Free entry. Roller skate rental is $13/person. 
  • Getting there: The Midway is accessible by many public transit stations, including the Campus Martius Q-Line station and the 3, 4, 6, 9, 40, 52 and 67 buses. 
  • Parking: There are eight parking garages in the area. Use this list of parking garages to secure a parking spot. 

Tips for families when visiting Monroe Street Midway

  • All the fun at the Monroe Street Midway happens outside. Wear sunscreen, bring water to stay hydrated and dress in layers so you can adjust your clothing to stay cool and comfortable.
  • A waiver must be completed online prior to participating in rollerskating, basketball or mini golf. 
  • Anyone 13 years old and under must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. 
  • Roller skating is the only activity that requires a ticket. Due to the high demand, it is best to secure your tickets in advance online. Free roller skating lessons are offered on Fridays. 
  • Skate rentals are included in the ticket price, but skaters may bring their own skates and equipment. Helmets are offered on a first-come, first-served basis. 
  • Concession stands are on-site if you need a beverage or a bite to eat.
  • Not sure if the Midway is open due to the weather? Check the @DeckedOutDet and @BedrockDetroit social channels for the most up-to-date information regarding the weather.

Things to do nearby


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Tuesday, 23 May 2023

Spouse or Roommate? What to Do When It’s Getting Hard to Tell

Before we became a couple more than a decade ago, my husband and I were browsing at the mall when I stumbled on a pair of pink heart earrings I really wanted. I didn’t have the extra cash, though, so I put them back and walked away. Days later, before he left for a European trip, we met for coffee and he handed me a gift: It was those same earrings I’d been eyeing.

“I knew you liked these, so I went back and got them for you,” he said.

I smiled. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for me — and among the many reasons I fell in love with him at age 19.

The earliest stage of a romantic relationship is heart-fluttering. It’s when couples are most thoughtful and engaged. It’s when you really get to know each other. Every moment together is magic.

But that era, and the passion that comes with it, is fleeting. As the years go by, the intensity fades into something different.

For us — after five years of marriage under our belts and a baby at home — it has faded into conversations about housework and child care duties.

At the end of most days, we’re sitting on separate couches staring at our phones, barely speaking. The thrill, as they say, is gone.

And that’s not uncommon for couples. In fact, it’s one of the reasons they seek therapy, says Shirley Bavonese, a certified social worker and licensed marriage and family therapist at the Relationship Institute.

“It’s usually happening in long-term relationships. After a year to a year-and-a-half of a committed relationship, the romantic period is dissolved and it moves on to another stage of intimacy,” Banovese says. “People have to understand that intense connection is going to ultimately change into something quieter.”

But as time goes on, issues inevitably arise. And often, when couples can’t find solutions they either avoid fights, Banovese says, or they have the same old arguments.

“That sours the connecting — cools it off,” she adds. “They are feeling like the relationship is stuck, stale, not moving anywhere. They often use the term ‘roommate.'”

More couples experience this than you realize, says Joe Kort, a sex and relationship therapist and founder of the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak. “Couples don’t talk about it, which is why people don’t talk about it,” Kort says. “It’s embarrassing.”

But it’s also reality — particularly once the little ones arrive.

“It often happens, and it’s normal that it happens after you have children,” Kort says. “You’re up all night, you’re tired,” and moms don’t have much left for their husbands. “Now you feel like brother and sister.” Talk about a relationship shift.

There’s hope, though, for couples whose relationships have “cooled” and connections are crumbling. Here are five ways to reconnect with your spouse.

Stop phubbing

Are you scrolling through your Facebook feed or texting instead of talking to your partner? Then you’re “phubbing” — aka snubbing someone with your phone.

While it’s easy to blame technology, devices aren’t entirely the problem. “It’s not the technology,” Kort says. “It’s the way the technology is being used.”

So set boundaries around phone use.

“Make it clear to your partner: ‘I’m going to be on my phone for a little bit,'” Kort says. Allow your partner that time on his phone — whether it’s 30 minutes or one hour — without giving him grief for it. After that time, make an agreement that, for example, after 8 p.m. you’ll both put your phones away for the night.

Nix the kid talk

“When did the baby last eat?” “Did you help Ava with her science project?” “Am I driving Ryan to practice?”

As parents, it’s easy to fall into the pattern of talking solely about your kids, but there has to be more to your conversations than your child.

“Both parties need to bring something to the table,” Banovese says. “Whether you have a roommate, a lover or a marriage partner, you have to think about: What’s it like to live with you if all you talk about is the color of poop?”

Instead, a Women’s Health magazine article titled “6 Things You and Your Partner Should Talk About Every Day” suggests couples talk about their goals (both professionally and personally), discuss their plans for the future and even chat about their health.

Banovese also recommends talking about politics or hobbies, whether they’re shared or you’re learning something new about your significant other.

Do stuff together

Kick it old school and spend time together — just the two of you.

“They should be making time for each other separate from the kid,” Kort says. Sometimes people do that by laying side by side in bed on Sunday morning, he says, or by talking on the phone when they are away from each other.

Or book a babysitter and have date night.

Share a hobby? People with common interests are successful in relationships, Banovese says. “I think when you are dating, it’s good to evaluate that you both have some common interests that are beyond going to dinner and going to a movie,” she adds.

If you don’t currently have common interests, don’t fret. Explore things you can do together.

“If you both had not done rock climbing, do a date rock climbing,” Banovese suggests. Even if you end up hating it, it’s something that you did together — and that’s a memory for the two of you.

Create a mutual vision

Whether it’s division of household chores, child care responsibilities or intimacy, every person has expectations for what they think they should be getting out of their marriage. If your expectations don’t align, Kort encourages couples to do “mutual vision” homework.

“They go home and she writes down her vision of what she wants in a relationship and he writes down his vision,” he says.

This method is based on information from best-selling author Harville Hendrix’s 1988 book “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples”.

To do this, couples work separately to write down sentences for non-negotiables and desires. When writing your vision for your relationship, focus on different areas: sex and romance, finances, communication, parenting, in-laws, leisure activities and work.

Once you’ve both created your vision, sit down together to create a vision you can both agree on.

“Post your relationship vision where you see it daily. Read (it) together with your partner once a week, check if you are on target — this will help you make daily choices that will turn your vision into a reality,” notes Austrian website The Local in a post on Hendrix’s approach. “Update and tweak your relationship vision once a year to fit your current needs.”

Get help

“When people think about marriage counseling, a lot of times they’ll come in and go, ‘We don’t scream and fight like that,'” Banovese says.

But that’s far from the only reason people see therapists.

“Marriage counseling isn’t for screamers. It’s for small nuances,” like the eye rolls you give when your partner is talking. “All of those speak volumes,” she adds.

And a therapist’s main goal is to help couples work through their conflict and find ways to reconnect emotionally and physically — not prepare for divorce.

“If you start dealing with conflict, if you get out of that difficult, dark pattern and start dealing with the conflict and being more vulnerable with each other … then you’re going to want to connect with your partner and you’ll make time for more intimacy.”

And even if you’re the one who doesn’t think there’s a problem — or you’re afraid to seek therapy because you don’t know what’s going to happen or feel it will force the two of you to break up — you should still make the effort to see a therapist if that’s what your partner wants.

“It’s important for him then to validate and hear her experience — why it feels like a problem for her,” Kort says. “To help her resolve the problem, he has to be part of the solution.”


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One-to-One Instruction Helps with School Refusal

School refusal in the post-pandemic world has become a common problem. For many students, it’s trying to return to a traditional learning environment after being a remote student. For others, remote learning was a struggle and they feel like they got left behind in their studies.

However, students who want to get back on track have options.

Karen Buckner, President and CEO of Brightmont Academy, believes that school refusal can be offset by a flexible approach. “Our school offers one-to-one instruction. That means one teacher, one student. There is no one else in the classroom to compare yourself to. It’s just you and a teacher working at your own pace.” In addition, Brightmont Academy offers rolling admissions, a year round program and a curriculum that meets state requirements, making it as easy as possible for students to regain their academic footing.

Why school refusal is increasing

As we saw in recent years, all students, including those who were high achievers pre-Covid, had trouble dealing with a remote schedule. “It takes a unique student to succeed in a fully virtual classroom,” says Buckner. “Most struggle in some way.” 

One group of students particularly affected by the lack of in-person instruction are those who were just entering seventh grade or beginning high school when Covid hit. “These students were out of school for a crucial two years and may have difficulty readapting to traditional classrooms,” she says.

Buckner points out that during virtual learning students had access to live instruction at home even if they were ill. That’s no longer the case as most schools have returned to in-person classrooms.

“When an honor or AP student or any student misses five days of school due to Covid or another illness, that’s a huge chunk of work that they have to make that up,” she says. “If they have to miss school again for any other reason, they worry they are falling behind in their courses or that they might fail an important exam. They may decide: ‘Why bother?’”

Benefits of one-to-one instruction

Brightmont Academy’s one-to-one approach is designed for student success. Everything is tailored to the student from how many hours they are on campus, to when they start the school day.

“Our goal is to get students ready to reacclimate to classroom learning. That doesn’t happen overnight and that’s OK. I call it playing defense rather than offense. It’s a win when a student comes through our door ready to learn, not the exact time they get here or how many classes they take,” Buckner says.

A slow but steady return to a traditional school day is effective, says Buckner. Even someone enthusiastic about going back to school will be more successful if they give themselves time to adjust.

“Students may underestimate the mental and physical strain that a full school day entails. Because we have open admissions, you can start whenever you’re ready and you can even begin with one class at a time.”

Supportive teachers are another benefit. “The teacher is not there to judge you, they are there to help you. They want you to succeed and will work with you to make it happen,” Buckner says.

For students and parents concerned about catching up and getting back to a school routine, Buckner believes Brightmont Academy’s student-tailored approach works. “We offer a unique flexibility that is unlike any other public or private school. No door is closed to you, no matter what. We can provide the solution.”

Learn more at Brightmontacademy.com/campuses/northville



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Splash Pads and Spraygrounds in Metro Detroit and Ann Arbor

Escape into a refreshing and playful paradise for all ages by taking your family to one of the many splash parks in southeast Michigan as well as the spraygrounds, which are perfect for tiny tots and toddlers.

Many are zero depth so there’s little standing water or risk of drowning for kids who can’t yet swim. Think of them as safe, soaked playgrounds: Streams of water shoot up from ground nozzles or sprinkle down from special features like arches, trees or even helicopters.

Here’s a list of options in southeast Michigan that are sure to keep your kids cool this summer. And if these splash parks don’t put enough soak in your summer, you can always check out some of the local public swimming pools or outdoor water parks in your area.

Looking for more things to do with kids? Check out our summer fun family guide!

Note: Not all locales are zero-depth. Use caution and always supervise young children around water.

Macomb

Brandenburg Park Splash Park

Sitting on the shoreline of Anchor Bay, the waterfront park stretches 17 acres with a kids play area, volleyball court and picnic area. 

Cascade in the Shade

This artistic community play fountain is located at Shadyside Park. The 1,400-square-foot interactive water fountain and splash pad feature colorful murals of trees with roots and wildflowers to represent the past, present and future of the city.

Chief Gene Shephard Park Splash Pad

This firefighter-themed splash pad is one of a kind. It is open 11 a.m.-7 p.m. daily until Labor Day and for Shelby Township and Utica residents only. It offers Toddler Time sessions for age 5 and under from 10-11 a.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Non-residents may attend as guests of residents.

Clinton Township Splash Pad

This splash pad opened in 2022 near the Clinton Township Public Library-Main Branch. It features numerous water features, a big bucket, shaded seating areas and a picnic area outside the fence.  

Dodge Park Splash Pad

The splash pad includes a mini splash area, movable spray features, interactive elements, water table, waterslide, toddler slide and a bucket that dumps water every couple of minutes. 

Lake St. Clair Metropark Squirt Zone Spray Ground and Pool

With water cannons, a tunnel of water to run through and ground sprays shooting up water, tykes will be able to cool off no matter how hot the temperature gets. 

Macomb Township Recreation Center: SCS Play Structure

Check out this indoor splash pad. With a log run and lazy river as well as vortex with a waterfall and a play structure for younger kids, this is a great spot for summertime fun.

Spray Fountain at Warren City Square

Kids can cool off at the spray fountains open Memorial Day through Labor Day until 7 p.m. daily. Stop by on Sundays for Sundays @ the Square, beginning June 6, for vendors and food trucks.

Warren Community Center Indoor Water Park: Play Structure 

With a water slide, lap pool and leisure pool, tots can escape the sun and splash and enjoy the cool water at this play structure in the indoor water park.

Oakland

Brooklands Plaza Splash Pad

To operate this splash pad’s water features, visitors can press the activation arrows on either of the two posts. There are tables and chairs nearby for a picnic, evening lighting when it gets dark and restrooms.

Clintonwood Park: Renee Przybylski Memorial Spray Park

Find a variety of above and below water features in this 3,200-square-foot park, which was renovated in 2019. It is a memorial to Renee Przybylski, one of the best camp counselors in Independence Township history.

Indian Springs Metropark Spray ‘n’ Play

This spray pad features a rock-climbing wall, cargo nets to climb and even a maze. After a good swim, let your toddlers build castles and leave their footprints in the sand play area.

KLR Splashpad

The “KLR” stands for “Kids Love Recreation” – that means all kids and ability levels at this inclusive park (“Aqua Wheelchairs” available on request). Be prepared for your child to get sprinkled in water as it squirts out from machines as well as the ground. 

Lily Pad Springs 

The largest splash pad in Michigan features 5,500 square feet of water play including 50-plus play features, including a 2,400-square-foot climbable structure, splash bucket that dumps 55 gallons of water and four waterslides. 

Normandy Oaks Park Splash Pad

This outdoor splash pad is activated by a switch and is open from 9 a.m.-9 p.m. Memorial Day to Labor Day. Be sure to check out the playscape at Normandy Oaks Park nearby.

Red Oaks Waterpark: Soak Station and Spray & Play

The Soak Station water playground has water jets, curtains, slides, bubblers and a six-foot tipping bucket for 68 features in all (must be 56 inches or taller). For toddlers, the Spray & Play has 15 water jets and bubblers at zero depth. It is open seven days a week.

Riverside Park Splash Pad

This Oakland County splash pad is open 2-6 p.m. daily the Saturday of Memorial Weekend to Labor Day. It is free for both residents and non-residents. There are in-ground water sprinklers for kids to run through. Parents can enjoy watching from the steps on the side.

Southfield Sports Arena Outdoor Pool: Children’s Spray Pool 

This Southfield spot has a small children’s spray pool with a climbing wall and 120-foot waterslide. Note: This is a pool and is not zero-depth.

Splash ‘n’ Blast at Kensington Metropark: Spray Ground 

It’s known for its waterslides, but this popular area also belongs on the list of splash parks in Michigan for its tot-friendly area with palm trees, serpents and cannons that spray water. 

Splash Pad at Heritage Park

These fountains and sprayers are for kids of all ages (mom and dad, too). Stop by the snack shack for a treat or head to the nearby playground after you’ve cooled off.

Troy Family Aquatic Center: Splash Pad

With less than a foot of water, the spray pool and zero-depth splash pad at this popular Oakland County destination is a great hot spot to cool off for tots. If your family is hungry, stop by Harvey’s Hit Concession Stand.

Waterford Oaks Waterpark: Big Bucket

This tropical-themed oasis offers a children’s water playground with 30-plus interactive activities like a big tipping bucket, waterfalls and sprays.  

Washtenaw

Blue Heron Bay Spray Park at Independence Lake County Park

On the list of Washtenaw County splash parks in Michigan, this spot is loaded with interactive jets used to spray those around you, water cannons, dumping buckets and more for family fun.

Rolling Hills Water Park: Activity Pool 

Among the Ann Arbor-area splash parks in Michigan, this spot for younger kids has zero-depth entry, a gentle bubbler, water geysers, a waterfall and kiddie slide for kids under 45 inches tall. 

Veterans Memorial Outdoor Pool

This Ann Arbor city pool offers a zero-depth area with a “raindrop” and interactive water play features.

Wayne

Canton Heritage Park Splash Playground

Looking for a Canton splash park to take your child? Stop by this H2O playground during the summertime.

City of Livonia Aquatics: Outdoor Splash Pad

Grab your phone to snap a few pictures as your child splashes the day away in the summer sun. 

Civic Center Park Splash Pad

This splash pad has plenty of greenspace surrounding it for parents to watch their kids in shaded seats and tables.

H20 Zone Spray Ground 

Soak in the sun and rinse off at the H20 Zone. Be sure to check out the 18-foot helicopter that sprays water from its spinning rotor. Plus, water bucket and spray attractions. Also, free Wi-Fi and a concession area.

Mt. Elliott Park Water Feature on Detroit Riverfront Splash Park

This Great Lakes schooner-themed spot has water cascades, kid-activated water cannons, unique wind chimes and more interactive features. There’s a popular open-air cafe nearby. 

Palmer Park Splash Park

This state-of-the-art neighborhood spot has colorful water-splashing pipes and small tipping buckets. It’s motion-centered and turns off automatically at 8 p.m. throughout the summer months.

Plymouth Township Sprayscape

This 2,600-square-foot spot has 24 spray features like water cannons, the “Horse Charger,” “Froggy-O” and “Daisy Mae” – along with 12 ground sprays. It’s open seven days a week beginning Saturday of Memorial weekend through Labor Day.

Romulus Aquatic Center: Splash Pools

The indoor splash pool includes zero depth entrance, water curtain as well as a 150-gallon tipping bucket. Outside the splash pool, kids can enjoy the water slide or lazy river, lap pool or two-story waterslide.

Summit Aquatic Center in Canton: Leisure Pool

At zero-depth, this cool community pool has a 30-inch water slide for smaller kids and features including tall features that spray down water, making it an indoor Canton splash park-inspired destination. 

Turtle Cove Family Aquatic Center at Lower Huron Metropark

Alongside its big-thrill slides, this spot has a water play scape with a 300-gallon dumping bucket and bright tube-like features that spill lots of water. 

Wayne County Family Aquatic Center: Splish-Splash Land

Wayne County’s biggest family water park also has a giant attraction for little ones with 100-plus fountains delivering constant sprays and splashes. Ranges zero- to two-feet deep.

This post is updated regularly.


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Monday, 22 May 2023

10 Strategies to Navigate Feeling Overwhelmed

As parents, most of us can relate to feeling overwhelmed. When we let these feelings fester, they can cause a lot of consequences internally, or lead to an external rupture. Let’s be honest, what parent hasn’t blown up before?

Laura van Dernoot Lipsky is a trauma exposure pioneer and the founder and director of The Trauma Stewardship Institute. At a recent ParentEd Talk sponsored by Metro Parent as part of a series of talks with parenting experts, she offered strategies for navigating and easing the burden and impacts of overwhelm in our daily lives.

Protect your morning

Lipsky cautions parents from reaching for an electronic device or exposing themselves to anything that is going to unnecessarily jack up their nervous system when they wake up. Social media and turning on the news are both huge triggers for most people – give yourself a break from the constant pressure to stay informed.

Go outside

Science shows that being outside has a positive impact on our nervous system. She says that parents who have a few minutes to spare throughout the day can benefit from a little time outside.

Reset your nervous system

Everyone resets their nervous system differently. Some people do it with a workout at the gym, or through meditation, acupuncture or a cold-water immersion.

“Whatever you do, you want to release something from your nervous system at least six days a week to stay your best,” says Lipsky, who notes that spending time with animals can be a helpful and fun reset.

Assess your relationships

Whether it is with family, friends or colleagues, Lipsky encourages individuals to take a deeper look at the various relationships they are in, and ask themselves if they are edifying and healthy or promote toxicity. If the latter, reconsider the need for those relationships.

Nurture gratitude

Pay attention and notice what is going well in your life and stop and take it in, Lipsky says.

Be mindful of addiction

If navigating addiction, be wise and safe with kindness and compassion towards yourself.

Simplify your life

Be aware of decision fatigue and cognitive overload. Lipsky offers a free resource on her website to aid parents through the process.

Prioritize your sleep

Sleep is critical for so many parts of our body and mind.

“There is every reason you might not be sleeping well,” Lipsky says. “But sleep scientists tell us not to get into sleep deficit.”

Clarify your intentions

Think about why you are doing what you are doing. Be mindful and think about how you can refrain from causing harm and contributing meaningfully.

Laugh

Lipsky says that pure humor is a sustaining force.

“Humor gives me physical and psychological energy; as I have become more open and alive, my laugh has changed,” she says. “I laugh really loud now, from deep in the belly, and that’s a good thing. Physiologically that gives you an internal massage of your organs.”

Looking for more parenting tips from experts? Register for the remaining ParentEd Talks with one ticket!


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A New Center Line Coffee Shop Offers Opportunities for Students with Disabilities

Gather + Grounds, a new coffee spot in Center Line that opened last month at 25709 Van Dyke Ave., looks like any other hip coffee shop but its mission is different from a typical cafe. 

The space doubles as a learning tool for Rising Stars Academy, a charter school devoted to educating adult learners ages 18-26 with intellectual and developmental disability. Students receive on-the-ground training in manufacturing, medical sciences, restaurant work and more alongside traditional education in subjects like art and robotics.

“One of the things our students need the most help with is social and emotional skills,” says Deb Prentiss, co-founder and executive director of the Rising Stars Academy Foundation. 

Deb, along with her husband Mark, opened Rising Stars Academy in 2012. The 4,000 square foot coffee shop is their newest addition to the school which already boasts a commercial food making facility.

“Everyone is given an opportunity to train at Gather + Grounds – we base things on abilities, not disabilities,” Deb says. 

Photo credit: Gather + Grounds

Launching a restaurant to be run by adults with intellectual disabilities was always a dream for Mark, a program manager and culinary educator at the school. Watching the cafe operate so successfully for its first few weeks has made the educators and staff proud, he says. 

“I would put my kids up against anyone in the restaurant business,” he says. “Our students really meshed together from day one.”

Students gain real world skills both behind the counter and as a patron at Gather + Grounds. They make coffee drinks, assemble sandwiches and perform all other standard tasks a barista might. 

“The purpose of putting that building up is to provide space in the evenings for programs so that they can come to and hang out in society, without getting in trouble,” Deb Prentiss says. “There’s plans for game nights, karaoke, nutrition programs and exercise programs.” 

“They can come in and spend time with other adults and model social behaviors,” she adds. 

The response has been overwhelmingly positive from the students, parents and community as a whole.

Photo credit: Gather + Grounds

“The public, the city of Center Line, love having the coffee shop in their city and they’ve been very, very supportive of our students,” she says.

The first community event, a Mother’s Day brunch, was a huge success. Families were able to form new connections in the space. 

“The clients really enjoy being there – it’s someplace new,” says Deb. “They’re adults, so they like to do the same things that other adults like to do.” 

While the school itself would not be able to have new locations, the coffee shop could serve as a replicable model in other parts of metro Detroit. The couple is already eyeing spaces in northern Macomb after the way the community responded to Gather + Grounds. 

“Nobody around us has something like this built into a specific program,” says Mark. “One thing we always go back to is, we have the ability to adapt to our clients, our students, because we know it and we live it.”

The academy also offers adult learners the chance to participate in the upkeep of a three-acre garden, orchard, greenhouses and livestock. Plus, there’s a commercial food production space that services goods for around 75 restaurants in metro Detroit and a retail space selling student-made ceramics.

Gather + Grounds is located at 25709 Van Dyke Ave., Center Line and is open to the public 7 a.m. – 4 p.m. Monday-Friday and 9 a.m.-noon on Saturday. 


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