6 Ways to Support Siblings of Children With Autism

In families with a child with autism, meeting everyone’s needs can feel both rewarding and challenging for parents. Megan Tucci understands this deeply. She’s the sister of a younger brother with autism and a Board Certified Behavior Analyst at Healing Haven and she brings both personal and professional insights when supporting families. 

Alongside Jamie McGillivary, BCBA, President and Founder of Healing Haven, Tucci shares six ways parents can support every child in the family while fostering connection and understanding. “Autism doesn’t happen to a child alone,” McGillivary says. “It happens to the totality of a family. Recognizing that and giving siblings support can change the whole family dynamic.”

1. Be open about the diagnosis and behaviors

Siblings often notice their brother or sister’s unique needs or behaviors, which can feel confusing or even scary if unexplained. Open communication can help them understand and respond confidently.

• How: Explain the diagnosis and behaviors at a level your child can grasp. Use children’s books or resources to start conversations and answer questions. Let them know how you handle behaviors so they know what to expect.
• Parent tip: Books on autism can serve as great tools to make complex ideas relatable. Schools or libraries may have recommendations.

2. Make time for one-on-one bonding

It’s easy for siblings to feel overlooked when so much attention is given to the child with special needs. Dedicated time shows them they’re valued for who they are.

• How: Schedule activities that align with their interests such as going to their favorite park, seeing a movie, or playing games at home. “Make it intentional,” Tucci suggests. “I loved playing board games with my dad, like checkers, or playing basketball. It doesn’t always have to be something big or extravagant.”
• Parent tip: Involve your child in planning this time to ensure it’s meaningful for them.

3. Cultivate peer relationships

Siblings of children with special needs may feel isolated or different. Meeting peers who share similar experiences can offer them understanding and camaraderie.

• How: Look for local support groups or programs like SibShops that focus on siblings. Schools might also help connect families with shared experiences.
• Parent tip: Check out community resources like sibling support groups at local churches or organizations. Google to see what might be available close to you.

4. Involve siblings in ABA therapy

Participating in applied behavior analysis (ABA) therapy can empower siblings and foster closer relationships. “One of my favorite things growing up was going to my brother’s therapy sessions. It made it easy to connect with him because therapists modeled how to interact. It’s like stepping into your sibling’s world,” says Tucci.

• How: Ask your child if they’d like to join a session or training. They can learn skills like communication and play techniques that enhance their bond with their sibling.
• Parent tip: Therapists often welcome sibling involvement and can tailor activities like games or puzzles to include them. “As a BCBA, I love asking families if siblings want to come into parent training and participate in programming. It’s amazing to see them excited about learning how to play with or support their brother or sister,” she says.

5. Recognize the “glass child” phenomenon

Siblings of children with autism may feel “invisible,” taking on unspoken responsibilities while suppressing their own emotions. Acknowledging their challenges helps reduce this burden.

• How: “It’s important to check in with siblings, as they might not speak up if they’re struggling. They may worry about burdening their parents or sounding like they’re being negative about their sibling,” Tucci says. Create a safe space for them to share feelings. Reassure them that their struggles are valid and seen.
• Parent tip: TED Talks on “glass children” or family counseling can provide helpful insights and tools.

6. Support individual interests

Encourage siblings to explore activities that let them shine and feel special. Pursuing personal hobbies can boost their confidence and show them they’re equally important.

• How: Help your child try out extracurriculars like sports, music, or art. “Having something of your own is important,” Tucci says. “For me, it was band. My parents encouraged me to stick with it, and I still play the flute today. It was my space to grow and explore who I was outside of being a sibling.”
• Parent tip: Be patient as your children explore different interests and show enthusiasm for their efforts by attending events or performances. These can offer opportunities for that one-on-one time they need, too.

How growing up with a sibling with autism can shape a child’s future for the better

According to a recent article in Children and Youth Services Review, having a sibling with autism or another disability can inspire children to pursue compassionate and meaningful careers, such as working with youth who have disabilities. 

The study found that when children with a disabled sibling take on emotional caregiving roles, they may develop a deep empathy and a desire to help others, which can shape their career aspirations in positive ways. 

For parents, this suggests that growing up in a family with diverse needs can foster resilience, empathy, and a strong sense of purpose in all children.

This content is sponsored by Healing Haven, an ABA therapy center with locations in Madison Heights and Farmington Hills. Learn more about Healing Haven’s unique ABA therapy programs for ages 2 to young adult. Visit thehealinghaven.net.

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