Having a new baby is supposed to be joyful. But for many parents, the early days are also exhausting, overwhelming—and sometimes deeply distressing. For those experiencing perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), including postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety, the struggle goes far beyond the “baby blues.”
If you’re a partner, grandparent, sibling, or friend, you may notice something feels off. You want to help, but you’re unsure what to say or do.
“Families play a huge role in recognizing when something’s not right,” says Julayne Magee, LMSW CAADC, a master’s clinician at Day One, a program of Oakland Family Services. “When someone is experiencing PMADs, they may not even realize how far off track they feel. But you might.”
So how can you support a parent in distress—without judgment or pressure? Magee offers guidance rooted in compassion, clarity and real-world parenting experience.
Know the signs
The baby blues are common and usually resolve within a couple of weeks. PMADs, on the other hand, can last much longer and may be more intense. And they don’t always look like depression.
In fact, postpartum anxiety is often overlooked. “There’s a lot more awareness of postpartum depression versus postpartum anxiety, but both are harmful if not treated,” Magee says.
You’re looking for changes that fall outside their normal. That might include:
- Withdrawing or isolating
- Losing interest in self-care
- Crying more often
- Feeling detached from the baby
- Expressing hopelessness or overwhelming anxiety
Environmental changes, like noticeable shifts in someone’s typical routines or self-care, can also offer gentle clues.
Approach with empathy
If you’re worried, start gently. Magee suggests framing your concern with simple, loving language: “I’m noticing you seem really overwhelmed lately. How can I help?”
Avoid giving unsolicited advice or making assumptions. Statements like “Just take a nap” or “All moms feel this way” can shut down trust.
“People don’t want to feel judged,” Magee explains. “Then their defenses go up, and it’s harder to reach them.”
Instead, listen without rushing to fix. Ask what they need. Validate their feelings — even the hard ones.
Offer real, practical help
Families often default to “Let me hold the baby,” but that’s not always what a struggling parent needs most. Laundry, walking the dog, washing dishes — these daily tasks can feel impossible when you’re barely holding it together.
“Sometimes just showing up and saying, ‘I have an hour. What would be most helpful?’ can be huge,” Magee says.
If possible, talk about a support plan before the baby arrives. “Knowing what’s comfortable and helpful ahead of time makes things easier later,” she adds.
Encourage professional support
When someone is really struggling with PMAD, professional help can make all the difference. But suggesting therapy can feel tricky.
Start with concern: “You don’t have to go through this alone. Would it help to talk to someone?”
In some cases, supporting a parent may mean asking difficult questions, like whether they’re having thoughts of harming themselves or their baby. These conversations can feel uncomfortable, but when asked with care, they can open the door to getting real help.
Magee says even gathering a list of local resources or offering to go with them can reduce the pressure.
“There’s never been as many resources available as there are now,” she says. “The stigma is disappearing, and more people are open to talking about it.”
Local options include:
- Oakland Community Health Network
- Oakland Family Services
- Care of Southeastern Michigan (which offers virtual groups)
- Women’s Center of Southeastern Michigan
Nationally, Postpartum Support International connects families with trained providers.
Be the steady support
“Show up in ways that you can,” Magee says, and remind them, and yourself, that things can get better. Postpartum mental health challenges are temporary and treatable, especially when families act with empathy and care.
After all, it still takes a village, says Magee. And sometimes, a village starts with one person who’s willing to say, “I see you. You’re not alone.”
If you or someone you love is struggling, reach out. For local support, OCHN Access line at 248-464-6363.
This content is sponsored by Oakland Community Health Network.
OCHN manages and funds a service provider network for approximately 30,000 Oakland County residents at more than 400 service sites across the county. People who receive public behavioral health services through OCHN’s provider network include those who have an intellectual or developmental disability, mental health concerns or substance use disorder. Most of these individuals have Medicaid insurance coverage.
OCHN’s goal is to ensure these individuals are aware of and have access to services and support that will improve their health and quality of life, as well as ensure their engagement in full community participation. Its mission to “inspire hope, empower people, and strengthen communities” reflects an unyielding belief in a “Valuable System for Valued People.”
Programs and supports provided by OCHN’s service network are available at oaklandchn.org.
from Metro Parent https://ift.tt/tReNpfM
0 comments:
Post a Comment