Making family New Year’s resolutions that actually stick

New Year’s resolutions are not only a great way to set goals for yourselves, but they can also be a way to bring your family closer. For younger kids especially, it’s a great way to learn about how to set goals and how to follow through with them, as well. 

While teenagers may be able to set their own resolutions and goals with less parental guidance, Michelle Ivey, Program Supervisor of the Macomb County Community Health Children’s Department, recommends for children under the age of 14, consider opting for a family resolution.

Where to start in creating family resolutions

Ivey and Elizabeth Vutci, Director of Community and Behavioral Health Services at Macomb County Community Mental Health, suggest that you start with a family meeting.

“Set aside undistracted time for your family to sit down together, where all family members determine what they want to do,” Vutci says. “That means no TV and no phones — none of those distractions — and throwing out ideas of what everyone would like to have happen over the course of the next week, month or year.”

Parents and caregivers should help guide the decision-making along the way, in terms of what’s feasible and what’s not. But Ivey notes that it’s important to make kids feel they’re contributing or that their input is valued, even if it’s something really small.

One of the biggest mistakes Vutci sees with resolutions of any kind? Planning or expecting that a resolution will be done every single day. 

“Nobody does anything 100% of the time, all the time,” she adds. “It’s better to break it down into something you can do twice a week and then build on that.”

Three resolutions for your family to consider

Though every family will have their own goals, these are some of the most common ones Vutci and Ivey hear from families and how to best approach them.

• Getting healthier: Consider family gym memberships where parents can bring the children along to get active or where childcare is available while parents work out to get them in the habit of going to the gym. If the goal is to eat better, include children in parts of the process like food shopping, picking out recipes or even cooking together, depending upon age.

• Getting organized: Some parents may use resolutions to help teach their kids about cleaning and organizing their bedrooms or backpacks, or even make an effort as a family to make the overall organization of the home a priority.

• Communicating better: Opening lines of communication within the family unit is never a bad idea, whether that includes therapeutic intervention or getting the kids involved in more family decisions.

Tips for sticking with resolutions for kids (and adults!)

• Create a visual tracker: The saying “out of side, out of mind” rings true sometimes, so consider creating a visual way to track progress or tasks that can be placed on the refrigerator or some place prevalent where all members of the family will see it.
• Give yourselves grace: Between school pickup, appointments, practice, recitals and work, days can get busy for families. If a few days are missed, keep going and don’t be too hard on yourselves. These are formative years for kids, so show them how to be persistent and not give up — and show yourselves as parents, too.
• Keep it fun: Resolutions aren’t meant to be punishments, and the more fun and lighthearted, the more engagement you’ll get from the whole family.

Most importantly, families should work together through these goals, because there are important lessons on the other side.

“Everyone needs to support each other because sometimes it’s even hard for adults to follow through,” Ivey adds. “Whether they’re children, teenagers or high school seniors, it’s important to show that when you set goals for yourself, if you stay on track, work hard and encourage yourself, you can complete that goal.

“You can accomplish the things you want to accomplish, and that’s a skill that can continue through their whole lives.”

Vutci adds, “These things build confidence — and with confidence comes ability and willingness to try new things.”

For more information on living and learning in Macomb County, visit Make Macomb Your Home. Find more articles like this at Metro Parent’s A Family Guide to Macomb County.

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