Choosing recovery means making big changes — where you go, who you spend time with and how you spend your day. The social shift can feel overwhelming, especially when your old routine no longer fits your new life.
“Getting clean is easy, believe it or not. It’s staying clean that’s challenging,” says Denise, a Clinical Director at Meridian Health Services in Waterford. A licensed Social Worker and Certified Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor, Denise has spent decades helping others build new lives in recovery. She also brings her own lived experience — more than 32 years in recovery — to her work supporting others.
So where can you go? What does a supportive environment actually look like? And how do you start rebuilding your life with people who understand what you’re going through? We share Denise’s expert tips.
What do you do with all that time?
Recovery can feel like a void at first. Suddenly, your days have space — and it’s easy to feel lost. That’s because when you were using, so much of your day may have revolved around one goal: getting high or staying drunk.
“When you’re actively using, you have no concept of time,” Denise explains. “You wake up and your goal is to get high. It might take you to five o’clock to accomplish that desire, but you’re still not watching time.” In recovery, it’s different. “You’re watching the time. It’s like 9:00 a.m., 9:05, 9:10 — because you don’t know what to do with yourself.”
That’s why filling the hours with something healthy and positive matters.
“Early recovery is really about learning to discover yourself,” Denise says. She recalls learning fundamental things she may like to do when she started focusing on her recovery.
You might try things you’ve never done — or things you thought you’d never like. And that’s part of the process. You don’t have to love every new experience, but each one brings you closer to knowing yourself.
What kinds of things can you actually do?
Not everything in recovery is a formal meeting. Often, it’s about doing everyday things with people who understand what you’re going through. Here are just a few of the social, sober-friendly activities Denise sees in her work:
- Going out for coffee or a meal after a meeting
- Hanging out at an Alano Club
- Dancing at sober events
- Playing pool or darts
- Joining a bonfire or “fire pit” meeting
- Horseback riding
- Bowling
- Reading or joining a book club (that doesn’t include alcohol)
- Casual sports like softball
- Volunteering or giving back
These aren’t just ways to pass time — they’re ways to reconnect with joy, community and a sense of normalcy.
What recovery communities can offer
Recovery communities come in many forms, and you don’t have to commit to one forever.
Whether it’s NA, AA, SMART Recovery or another path, there’s space for you to explore what fits. You’ll find meetings, mentors and people who’ve been where you are. During holidays — when triggers and isolation can be intense — many groups hold marathon meetings, running 24 hours to make sure no one has to be alone.
And it doesn’t stop when the meeting ends.
“So you go to a meeting, and then after the meeting, people are going out to eat, people are going for coffee. It’s called a meeting after a meeting,” Denise says.
Alano Clubs often host gatherings and are open throughout the day and into the evening.
Not ready for a meeting?
If the idea of sitting in a circle feels like too much, you can start smaller. Alano Clubs often host gatherings and are open throughout the day and into the evening.
“They can walk into Alano Clubs,” Denise says. “People go there just to have coffee.” You can also find recovery-related social events online — like a casual softball game or a group hike. Just showing up is enough.
And therapy helps too. A therapist might point you toward activities or groups that fit your pace. If you’re not ready to talk, try attending an open talk — where someone shares their experiences, strengths and hopes and you can just listen.
What if you feel like you don’t belong?
It’s normal to feel awkward at first. Denise remembers standing against the wall at her first NA dance, certain everyone was watching her. She says her sponsor assured her that everyone present had the same worries.
Recovery is full of people who understand what it’s like to feel out of place. But over time, connection builds. “I had to learn to ask for help. And that’s not an easy thing to do because that’s not what we’re accustomed to.”
A reminder you might need
If you’re waking up one morning thinking, Maybe today is the day — know this: “People just need to believe that there’s life after active using. They’re worthy and they deserve it,” Denise says. “Our addiction doesn’t define us. It’s only part of who we are.”
If you or a loved one are looking for a place to begin your recovery journey, call the OCHN Access line at 248-464-6363.
This content is sponsored by Oakland Community Health Network.
OCHN manages and funds a service provider network for approximately 30,000 Oakland County residents at more than 400 service sites across the county. People who receive public behavioral health services through OCHN’s provider network include those who have an intellectual or developmental disability, mental health concerns or substance use disorder. Most of these individuals have Medicaid insurance coverage.
OCHN’s goal is to ensure these individuals are aware of and have access to services and support that will improve their health and quality of life, as well as ensure their engagement in full community participation. Its mission to “inspire hope, empower people, and strengthen communities” reflects an unyielding belief in a “Valuable System for Valued People.”
Programs and supports provided by OCHN’s service network are available at oaklandchn.org.
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