They come to you when they have a sore throat or a stomachache. But what about when they’re anxious, withdrawn, or overwhelmed? How do you talk to your kids about their mental health?
As parents, we’re used to handling skinned knees and school calls, but conversations about mental health can feel unfamiliar, especially when kids don’t know how to explain what they’re feeling.
Yet today, these conversations are more critical than ever.
Why is kids’ mental health a growing concern?
Recent national data suggests that more than 40% of U.S. high school students have reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, and nearly 1 in 5 seriously considered suicide. That’s according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which tracks youth mental health across the country.
And while awareness is growing, many kids and teens still don’t receive the support they need. Sometimes they’re afraid to speak up. Other times, parents aren’t sure how to ask — or worry they’ll say the wrong thing.
How can parents create a safe space for mental health conversations?
Mental health experts say that talking about emotions should be part of daily life, not a one-time, serious sit-down. The more natural and frequent the check-ins, the more comfortable your child becomes sharing when it really matters.
“Talk to your child or teen about mental health often, not just when you notice red flags or have concerns. Having regular conversations about how they are doing can create a trusting and safe environment that can make future conversations easier,” suggests a guide for families developed by the Administration for Children & Families.
What should parents say when checking in with their child?
Mental health isn’t something to wait to talk about until there’s a crisis. These small moments build connection and trust, and help kids learn that feelings are OK to talk about, even when they’re uncomfortable.
Everyday conversation starters:
- “You seemed a little off after school — what’s on your mind?”
- “What was something that felt hard today? What was something that felt good?”
- “I’m here to listen, not fix things unless you want help.”
What are signs that a child might be struggling emotionally?
Mental health changes don’t always show up in words. You may notice:
- Sudden shifts in mood, energy, or sleep
- Withdrawal from friends or favorite activities
- Irritability, hopelessness or talk of “not wanting to be here”
These aren’t always signs of a serious issue — but they’re always worth asking about. The CDC encourages parents to practice active listening and validate their child’s emotions rather than trying to fix or dismiss them.
What language helps and what shuts the conversation down?
Sometimes the best intentions can accidentally silence a child. Try to avoid saying:
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
- “Other kids have it worse.”
Instead, you might say:
- “That sounds really tough.”
- “You don’t have to figure it out alone.”
- “I’m so glad you told me.”
These responses keep the conversation going and let your child know you’re a safe place to land.
When should parents seek mental health help for their child?
If your child’s mood or behavior changes significantly — and the changes last more than a couple of weeks — it’s OK to ask for help. You don’t need to wait for a crisis.
Start with your child’s pediatrician or school counselor, or look into local behavioral health providers. Oakland Community Health Network, Macomb County Community Mental Health and Detroit Wayne Integrated Health Network are also available to provide support and resources.
And in urgent situations, you can call or text 988, the national Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7.
How can parents support their child’s mental health every day?
The most powerful thing a parent can do? Be present. Ask questions. Listen without judgment.
When your child knows it’s safe to talk about mental health, they’re far more likely to ask for help when they need it most.
This content is sponsored by the Ethel and James Flinn Foundation. Visit flinnfoundation.org.
Find more articles like this at Metro Parent’s A Parent’s Guide to Family Mental Health.
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